Men, Women and Coping With Depression

Depression can be defined as when a person has a stressful experience where they can feel out of control which creates a sense of helplessness. The feeling that there is no hope for their immediate future can feel painful both emotionally and sometimes physically.  Experiences can be different for each person. Some examples of this are:

• Moving to a new neighborhood
• Trauma such as abuse and rape
• Unemployment and financial issues
• Stress at work and school                                                     
• Death of a loved one
• Divorce or separation
• Diagnosis of disease or illness with self or loved one
• Low socioeconomic status

It is also important to remember that not only negative events can trigger depression. Sometimes, marriage, birth of a baby or a major move up in employment can also trigger depression in both men and women.

Although signs of depression are the same between genders, women tend to experience depression more often than men and the way men and women cope and deal with depression is many times, the opposite.

                                                                                                                              

Differences between male and female depression
Women tend to:	Men tend to:
Blame themselves	Blame others
Feel sad, apathetic, and worthless	Feel angry, irritable, and ego inflated
Feel anxious and scared	Feel suspicious and guarded
Avoid conflicts at all costs	Create conflicts
Feel slowed down and nervous	Feel restless and agitated
Have trouble setting boundaries	Need to feel in control at all costs
Find it easy to talk about self–doubt and despair	Find it “weak” to admit self–doubt or despair
Use food, friends, and "love" to self–medicate	Use alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self–medicate

While depression is found in both men and women, but women are twice as likely to seek help for depression compared to men. This is mostly in part to the fact that women are able to express their feelings, particularly to their medical provider. Dr. Mona Aquila writes in the Clinton Herald that “According to researchers, male depression is under-reported and its symptoms are different from those seen in women. Men seek help for depression less often because they tend to view mental illness as not being “masculine” and attempt to hide the symptoms. They tend not to get help due to fear that a diagnosis of depression will be made and to avoid the stigma of being depressed." 

Women find ways of coping by finding social support, talking to their physician and following the prescribed orders the amount of time required by their doctor. Men are less likely to make the appointment with their doctor and if they do end up going, there is a higher chance they will not give all their symptoms and fail to follow the doctors orders for medication and self care.

If as a society, we re examine our views of depression in both men and women, and agree that seeking help for depression is not a sign of weakness, do you think more men will report their symptoms to their doctor? Will this provide more accurate data for medical purposes along with both genders receiving the care specific to their individual needs?

References:

1. Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D (May 2013) Depression in women. In Helpguide.org. 

Retrieved May 28, 2013, from http://www.helpguide.org

2. Dr. Mona Aquila (January 6, 2010) Men and Women Deal With Depression in a Different Way. In clintonherald.com. Retrieved May 29, 2013, from http://clintonherald.com